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When you are married, and the chips are down, and you are feeling extremely cross that you gave up this or that privilege of your Single Life and are now in this momentarily rotten situation because you got married, you should be able to reflect that if you hadn't been able to marry your husband, this husband, you would have gone insane. I am trying to get my mind around how strict and unfair that may sound, but I can't. You should not feel guilty for telling a divorced man that you, as a Roman Catholic, a follower of Jesus Christ, consider him a married man. Go home and call a sympathetic pal of unquestionable orthodoxy. If you cannot think of anyone suitable, email me: [email protected]'m a married woman who has a number of male friends and goes to dances and classes without my husband, so I know perfectly well what is okay and what is not and when in doubt I hide behind a potted plant. And for sake of women's dignity semper et ubique, don't call, text or email him.If she was a Roman Catholic who married outside the Church to marry your non-Catholic Christian admirer and never had the marriage ratified, the Church doesn't recognize it. I do not care how old you are, or how plain-Jane, or how much you want children. A.'s case he was relieved to discover that I wasn't an airhead.
If I had been in the heart of a devout and brainy Catholic community such as y'all have in Washington D. But I was in Not-So-Catholic-Land, so I flailed about alone, or without the companionship of devout, orthodox and brainy Catholics.
Of course, I actually love my spouse and the entire world agrees that I am married to him, so that is a heck a lot easier for ME then for divorced-without-an-annulment people out there, especially divorced non-Catholics who don't get what the deal is. If he doesn't get what the deal is, get out of there. After saying all that, you may be wondering why I don't simply throw in the towel and tell you to avoid divorced men like the plague.
You know my motto: woman trumps every potential victim except baby/child. Well, it is because (A) I was divorced myself, drat it all, and I hate the idea of the divorced being treated like lepers and (B) Christians aren't supposed to treat even lepers like lepers.
So that was that, and he got another girlfriend almost right away, which somewhat assuaged my feelings of guilt.
But hark this: I should not have gone on another date with the divorced guy, even though he was, as my priest divined, a good person.
This is simply THE most difficult Single topic I can think of. I hate having to think about it, but my conscience says that I must think about it. It would be easy to write off the divorced as complete untouchables.